Whumptober 2019 - 25 - Humiliation
by DinerGuy
Summary: 2018 reboot. Magnum hadn't counted on anyone else being home, so, when the shadowy form had come around the corner, he'd reacted like any good security consultant would. Unfortunately, his judgment might have been a little off... okay, maybe a lot, but there were extenuating circumstances.


_A/N: Standard disclaimers apply._

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"Magnum?"

Magnum slowly opened his eyes, groaning at the way the glaring lights overhead caused his throbbing head to pound even more. He tried to sit up but immediately regretted the decision as a flash of white flared through his skull.

He slowly put a hand to his head and winced when he felt his fingers touch something wet and sticky. Lying back with a pained cough, he closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath.

"Hey, can you hear me?"

"Wha…?" He squinted one eye open.

Higgins was looking down at him. "Here, let me look at that," she said.

But he was still a little confused—and not just because of the knock to the head. "Higgy… what are you doing here?"

"I do live here," she replied. "Now come on; move your hand."

He frowned as she nudged his hand out of the way, then clenched his jaw as she started prodding at the wound on his head. "You… you're supposed to be on your trip."

"Yes, well, I'm afraid I had to cancel that last minute," she replied, reaching for something just out of his line of sight, then shifting back to dab at his head with a cloth.

Magnum jerked away from the sting of the disinfectant with a hiss of pain. "Okay, fine, but that doesn't explain why you felt the need to knock me over the head with… what? A massive wooden candlestick?"

Sitting back on her heels, Higgy lifted a brow and looked him in the eye. "If you recall, I only 'knocked you over the head' _after _you'd jumped me from behind and tried to choke me to death. I really don't think it was an unreasonable reaction given the circumstances."

Okay, that was fair. He blinked as he noticed the bruise that had already started to form just under her jaw and felt guilt gnaw at him.

"Sorry about that. I… thought you were a burglar."

Higgins laughed and rolled her eyes. "Meanwhile, _you _were prowling around the house—in the dark, I might add—at nine-thirty in the evening for what reason?"

As if on cue, his stomach growled loudly. The traitor. It hadn't made a noise in days, and it chose _now_ to start? Magnum winced at the sound, hoping Higgy hadn't heard it.

But she had. Higgins tilted her head, then her eyes widened ever so slightly with realization. "Thomas Magnum, were you planning to raid my refrigerator?"

He managed what he thought—hoped—was a halfway apologetic grin and tried to push to a sitting position again but stopped when she put a hand on his shoulder.

"Stay put; I'm not done." The look on her face told him she didn't just mean with his head.

With a sigh, he lay back down and frowned up at her. "Listen, Higgy, I—"

"You do realize I have fairly good deductive skills?" she interrupted him.

He nodded slowly. "Is… that a trick question?"

"For heaven's sake, Magnum!" Higgins sighed as she started poking at his head again. "You've lost _at least _several pounds since last Saturday, you've concocted several _terrible _excuses for stopping by the two times I've had guests, and I'm fairly certain I haven't seen you return from a shopping trip in weeks."

"Maybe you just missed it? Ow!" he exclaimed, pulling away as she pressed just a little harder at his words. "Are you trying to kill me _again?"_

She didn't look at all impressed, except there was now a flicker of concern dancing in her eyes as well. "When was the last time you actually ate a decent meal?"

Embarrassment clenched at his gut, tangling with the emptiness his stomach had become accustomed to over the past week and a half, and he glanced away from her piercing gaze as he searched for a way to laugh off her question without her catching onto the truth. It wasn't that he'd done any of it by choice…

"Magnum."

He sighed and launched into a rapid-fire explanation. "Okay, look, when I started working as a P.I., I knew it was going to be a little… hit and miss at times. But it's been less of the former and more of the latter lately, and then that angry husband broke the window of the Ferrari, I had that speeding ticket from a few weeks ago_, and_ I had to pay for the flat tire on T.C.'s van after I borrowed it for the Anderson case." He shrugged. "Add that to a couple of regular bills all coming out of my account at the same time, and…" Magnum trailed off and sighed, looking away as he finished his explanation. "And, well, you might as well say I'm completely broke."

"And you haven't had a case to make any of it up, have you?" she asked quietly.

He studied the grain of the cabinet beside him intently. "I figured it'd be fine for a couple of days, but then I ran out of groceries faster than expected, and I still hadn't gotten a case, so…" He shrugged a shoulder. "I've gone longer without food."

"You're an idiot," Higgins sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Well, it's not like I did it on purpose," he replied defensively. This was exactly why he hadn't wanted to admit his predicament to anyone in the first place. His friends were always telling him he couldn't handle his finances or job without them, and he'd just proved them right.

Talk about humiliating.

Day after day had passed without a new job; even with the footwork he'd put in to try to get more clients, nothing had happened. And then, by the third day, he'd talked himself out of telling his friends about his money troubles so often that it was easy enough just to keep it to himself. Just like it got easier and easier to deal with the constant headaches and fatigue. Just like it got easier and easier not to think about eating a whole meal and get by on the bar snacks he managed to mooch from La Mariana or the assorted appetizers he managed to steal from the kitchen when Higgins had visitors coming by the estate.

Speaking of Higgins… she did not look pleased with his excuse. "You do realize any one of your friends would have been happy to provide you with food if you'd simply _told _us what was happening?"

Well, when she put it that way, it certainly _sounded _simple.

"You know, this certainly explains a few things," she continued without waiting for his answer. "The way you've seemed more lethargic and been a little slower on the take lately."

"Hey!" he protested.

She just rolled her eyes and taped a piece of gauze to his head. "You know very well I'm right. Now then," she added, brushing off her hands and standing, "this unexpected physical activity has really taken it out of me. I don't normally find myself sparring in my pajamas, you know."

Struggling to a sitting position, Magnum rubbed his head absently, still feeling the embarrassment of the entire situation digging into his gut. "Right, I guess I need to let you get back to sleep."

"No indeed," Higgy's commanding voice stopped him in his tracks, and he looked over at her in confusion as his thoughts tried to catch up. She gave him a look. "I'm certainly not going to all the trouble of ordering takeaway only to sit up alone and watch bad late-night television."

Magnum blinked. "So… you don't want me to go?"

"Oh for—Which do you prefer, fried rice or chow mein?"

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_Fin._


End file.
